I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
