can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
