3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
