Can i not drive my cunt home
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
