Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
