I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
