How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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