I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
