You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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