apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
