Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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