Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
