you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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