Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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