I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
