your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
