I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
