The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
