How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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