That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
