did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
