dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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