woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
