feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
