There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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