You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
