you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
