An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
