I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Found your dick twin last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
