even my farts smell like vagina
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
40s are totally the cure
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
