Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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