Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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