He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
