I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My vagina is officially offended.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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