i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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