Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
