That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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