I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
