I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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