i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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