maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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