drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
