Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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