Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
