So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dick very happy bro
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