wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
