i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
