it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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