Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
