we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
