these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
