why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
